Miserere Mei, Deus
by MouseDragon
Summary: Written for Blue, on 3rd year anniversary of her husbands death. Takes place 26 years after the battle for the allspark. A grieving widow finds comfort in an unlikely place.
1. Chapter 1

Tragic. Sad. Yeah. I know. Written for a friend who needs to cry for what is lost, instead of holding it all inside. For you Blue... I offer wisdom, based on experiance, shared through the voices of a group of fictional characters we both know and love. Tears wash clean the wounds of the heart. Let them flow. Inspiration for this story comes from Miserere Mei, Deus, by Gregario Allegri, sung by the Kings College Scholars Choir. Miserere Mei Dues... Have mercy on me, oh lord. -As for shadowcat griping about how too many stories make frustrated readers? No one is forcing you to read my stories. Dont like em? Stop reading em. I dont care. Im not writing for you.

"I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.  
I keep my lamp lit, to warn the sailors on their way. "

Monuments stood in silent testiment to the fact that time cannot be stopped. Eventually, all things pass away. In some small way, they offered comfort to the young girl who walked amongst them. Molly "Blue" Fluer, came here often. It had been 3 years, 126 days, 6 hours and 23 minutes. She gently ran her fingers across the stone that was all that she had left of the man who had been her everything. "I miss you Ian..." the sound of a rumbling engine caused her to look up, staring in suprise as an antique 2008 Camaro rumbled past, stopping up the road several feet. She had seen the same Camaro, many times as she came to visit her fiance. For a moment, she thought about the silly rumor that had been going around about a haunted camaro being driven by a blonde haired ghost that people had sworn they had seen around the cemetary, always rolling to a stop infront of the graves of Samuel and Mikeala Witwicky. People speculated that it was one of the fabled transformers that had saved the earth 56 years ago. She watched as a blonde haired man stepped out of the camaro and made his way to two headstones she just knew had to be the very ones in the story. She decided to find out for sure. Slowly, she headed in the direction he was going. He turned his head suddenly, gazing at her with the most sorrowful blue eyes she had ever seen and her eyes widened. He smiled softly. His voice suprisingly human sounding "Its alright. Im not a ghost." She was about to kick herself for being so stupid. Mumbling she apologized "Look... I'm sorry I just..." He grinned. "I'm a Camaro." Molly struggled to calm her pounding heart. "Are you serious?" He pointed to the yellow Camaro, then continued to walk towards the graves infront of him. Molly had always been too curious for her own good and this was just too much to pass up. She approached the Camaro, examining it nervously. To her utter suprise, the driver side door popped open. The radio switched on, and dracula's voice cheerfully stated "I promise I vont bite" trembling, she simply stared. Finally finding her voice, she whispered "Your Bumblebee..." The radio replied with a cheerful "DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER! GIVE THE LADY A PRIZE!" Backing away slowly she said "What do you want from me?" She almost screamed when the blonde haired hologram appeared in the passanger seat, blue eyes gazing at her. "You approached me, remember?" She nodded, trying once again to stay calm. "I was curious..." He smirked "Nothin wrong with being curious." The door opened wider and the blonde man patted the drivers seat invitingly. The same curiousity that drew her to him, coaxed her into accepting his invitation. Hesitant, she asked "Ok... So... Your one of the good aliens right?" He chuckled "Yep." She looked at him "You promise your not gonna kill me?" He nodded. She looked up at the gravestones on the hill and realized that Ian would have been in that drivers seat in a heartbeat. Maybe that was why she suddenly slid into the drivers seat. "So... Why Sam and Mikeala Witwicky?" She asked softly. The hologram turned his head, blue eyes staring out the windsheild as the radio switched on again. Molly recognized the song.

I'll tell a story, paint you a picture from my past.

I was so happy, but joy in this life seldom lasts.

I had a keeper, he helped me warn the ships at sea.

We had grown closer, 'till his joy meant everything to me.

And he was to marry, a girl who shone with beauty and light.

And they loved each other, and with me watched the sunsets into night.

And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.

And the winds that blow remind me, of what has been, and what can never be.

She'd had to leave us, my keeper he prayed for a safe return.

But when the night came, the weather to a raging storm had turned.

He watched her ship fight, but in vain against the wild and terrible wind.

In me so helpless, as dashed against the rock she met her end.

Then on the next day, my keeper found her washed up on the shore.

He kissed her cold face, that they'd be together soon he'd swore.

I saw him crying, watched as he buried her in the sand.

And then he climbed my tower, and off of the edge of me he ran.

At the end of it, Molly had tears in her eyes. He smiled at her softly "Awww, come on, its not that bad". She stared at him "How can you say that?" He reached out gently, her eyes widened, expecting his fingers to go through her, only to find them solid and warm as they brushed her tears away. "Because, for a brief moment in time, I was happy. Life goes on, that never changes. Everything else eventually fades out. All thats left, is memories of what use to be. For me, thats enough." Molly looked at him "Dont you miss them?" He nodded. "That part comes with remembering." She stared at her lap. "Does it ever get any better?" The transformer smiled "Yeah. It takes time, but it does." She looked at her watch. "I should go... I have to be back at work..." The Transformer nodded, popping open the door for her. She got out and turned "Hey Bee?" He looked up at her. "Thanks... For sharing with me..." He smiled and replied "Thanks for listening."

As the yellow Camaro took off down the road, Molly heard the last part of the song, carried on the wind. She smiled softly, heading back to her car.

I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves.

And though I am empty, I still warn the sailors on their way. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Yeah, this was gonna be a one shot... But, I decided to keep going. Still for you Blue... Love ya much. I dont own Goodbye My Lover, its by James Blunt.

Chapter 2, Carpe Diem- Seize The Day...

Molly ran her fingers across the gravestone infront of her. "I miss you Ian..." The familiar sound of a rumbling engine filled her ears and she almost smiled. It had been four months, since she had found an unlikely friend in the form of a yellow camaro with big blue eyes and she silently thanked him for the wisdom and strength he had shared with her. She got to her feet and headed in the direction of the camaro. The hologram was there, as he always was, leaning against himself with a sad smile. She held out the custom license plate she had gotten for him. On it were the letters B-E-E O-T-C-H. He stared at it for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Where did you find this?" he asked, grinning at her. She finally got up her nerve and did something she hadnt dared do before. She hugged him. To her suprise and relief, she felt him wrap his arms around her, hugging back with a chuckle.

Molly, looking up at his smiling face "I saw it online and thought of you... I just wanted to thank you..."

Bumblebee "For what?"

Molly, smiling softly "For showing me that I wasnt alone...Your the strongest person I know."

Bumblebee looked down at her. "I came to say goodbye."

Molly's heart clenched. "Goodbye?"

He nodded. "To Sam. For 8 years I have been coming here, to say goodbye... I havent been able to do it...Until now. Molly, will you do me a favor? "

Molly, nodding "Sure."

He looked into her eyes. "Will you drive me?"

She blinked "Drive you?"

He hung his head. "No one has driven me... Since Sam died. I wouldnt let them... Because no one could ever take his place..."

Molly, her heart warming as she realized what he was asking her to do. She let go of him and silently walked to his driver side door, pausing as the hologram disapeared and waited for him to make the next move. She smiled as the door popped open and slid into the drivers seat, gently running her hands across the steering wheel. Bee shuddered slightly underneath her hands. "I need keys..." She said softly. The glove box popped open, dropping a dusty seat of keys onto the passanger seat. Gently, she slid the key into the ignition. "Ready?" The radio snapped on.

"Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me."

Turning the key, she let her tears fall as the engine rumbled to life. Together, they let go of the past and moved on, embracing the future... 

"As you move on, remember me

Remember us

And all we use to be"

"Oh Bee..." She sniffled as his hologram reappeared, holding out its hand. Smiling through her tears, she slid her hand into his.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine

And I love you, I swear that's true.

Her eyes met his and he smiled. "Its going to be ok Molly..."

And somehow, she knew it would be. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. I dont own transformers. The names for the chapters are in Latin. I am making sure I include english translations. No worries, no one dies... Warning, angstish. Duh.

Chapter 3, omnia causa fiunt- Everything happens for a reason

"Morning Bee!"

The Camaro shivered out of stasis, as Molly slid into his drivers seat and patted his dashboard "Morning? Its the middle of the night... And its snowing..."

She chuckled "I noticed, crank on the heat wouldja?"

Bee grumbled "Easy for you to say, your not covered in ice." as hot air began to pour through the vents.

A year had passed and the two had become inseperable. When Molly's job had transfered her to Boston, Bee had followed.

She put the key in the ignition and he spit it out, dropping it in her lap "Your so mean to me..." he whined.

She laughed "Bee, I need to get to work."

Bee snapped on the radio, blaring his favorite song "CUTE LIL BUMBLEBEE, I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, DOOP DI DOOP DI DO DA DA"

With a roar that woke the neighbors, his engine burst to life. 

She giggled "Such a drama queen..."

He smirked to himself as she pulled out onto the main street and headed for the freeway, growling as the ground slid under his tires and pushed himself down against his tires, using his weight to gain better traction. "I hate snow." 

Molly grinned "Awww, give it another 4 months and it will all be melted."

Bee, smirking "I will hate it then too."

Its funny, how quickly life can change. How rapidly, the floating comfort of reality can shatter before your eyes. Bee heard the sound before he knew what caused it. Squealing, crunching metal. Frantic he floored it, trying to get away from the crushed cars spinning towards them as his wheels helplessly slid across the ice. He heard her scream, a strangled, frightened sound and he knew he was going to fail her. His world swirled around him in slow motion as he watched, unable to do anything but join in the dance of destruction. As it collided with him and the pain hit, he whispered "I'm sorry..." With every bit of energy he could muster he sent out a distress signal, before the world finally shattered and everything was sucked into a agonizing black hole of nothingness.

"Ma'am! Do you know your name?"

Molly opened her eyes, everything was hazy. Someone was talking to her. Groaning, she struggled to remember what had happened. Staring through the shattered windsheild infront of her, she realized she was laying on her side. In an instant, it all came crashing back. Her voice hoarse and painful, she called out "BEE!" The sounds of metal twisting caused her to look up, where a rescue worker was hacking away at Bee's door with the jaws of life. She screamed and struggled against the seatbelt that held her like an iron vice, refusing to release. "No! NO STOP! YOUR HURTING HIM STOP!" there was a weak crackle and suddenly a song came out of the speaker beside her head. It was horribly warbled, like a CD player thats batteries were dying slowly.

"Everything's gonna be alright... Rockabye... Rockabye"

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she clung to his steering wheel "Bee..."

"...Sorry..."

"Oh Bee... Its not your fault..."

"I...Slipped..."

"Dont leave me Bee..." 

"Its gonna be ok Molly..."

Then the seatbelt released and two strong hands pulled her from the car. Her heart broke as she saw him laying there, twisted and crushed in a pile of broken cars.

He waited until he knew she was safely in the back of a waiting ambulance, before finally releasing his death grip on his failing systems slip, crashing as they forced him into stasis and finally offering blessed relief from the unbearable agony that was his universe. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four- Still for you Blue... I dont own transformers.

Chapter 4, hic et nunc- here and now

Bumblebee jerked out of darkness and tried to get up before his optics were fully online. A firm hand slammed him back down and he fought against it, until a familiar voice cut through his fear.

"DONT MAKE ME WELD YOU TO THE TABLE."

Relief flooded him as he struggled to get his systems to function and his optics finally blurred into focus, the familiar face of Ratchet staring down at him. Heaving sobs erupted as he tried to throw his arms around the old medic, only to be slammed back down on the table.

"I missed you too. Now hold still."

"Gotta...Help..." He wailed and thrashed feebly.

"Oh yes, your going to be alot of help, laying on the floor in a puddle of your own energon. Do I have to sedate you?"

"SLAG OFF!" Bee bellowed, more out of frustration then actually meaning it.

WHACK.

Bumblebee winced as Ratchet's wrench came down on his forehead. Ratchet followed it with one of his famous death glares. "I said hold still."

"Please..." He whimpered

Ratchet went back to welding a panel on his right side "Name. Rank. Cause of injury."

Bumblebee scowled as Ratchet started his line of "Checking to see if your processors still function" questioning. "Bumblebee. Recon Specialist. Im a worthless bucket of rusty scrap."

Ratchet raised an optic ridge and smirked "That bad huh?."

Bumblebee, streaks of blue sliding down his cheeks "I found a new driver... And I failed her... Oh primus did I fail her... Do the universe a favor and deactivate me now..."

Ratchet frowned "I havent spent countless orns putting your sorry skidplate back together to deactivate you now."

Bumblebee "How long...Have I been offline?"

Ratchet "Earth time? Three weeks. We found you in a junk yard."

The pain in his spark had nothing to do with his wounds. "She must not have survived..."

Ratchet finished his weld and looked at him with an expression of gentle sympathy. "You dont know that for certian. As soon as Im finished with your repairs, we'll see if we can find out what happened to her."

Bumblebee nodded, trying to have hope.

3 weeks earlier-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAD HIM TOWWED TO A JUNKYARD!"

"You need to calm down."

"You dont understand... My car... He isnt a car!"

"Ms.Fluer, you were involved in a severe automobile accident. Your car was destroyed."

Molly burst into hysterical tears and tried frantically to get out of the hospital bed she was laying in "YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! I HAVE TO FIND HIM!"

The nurse injected her with a sedative and her world spun and went dark.

-Four weeks later-

Molly lay in her hospital bed, staring blankly out the window when there was a knock on the door. "Go away..." She yelled.

The door opened. Molly looked away, stupid nurses could just deal with her ignoring them.

"I missed you too."

Not believing it, she turned staring into those sad blue eyes for a moment before throwing herself out of her bed. Two strong arms caught her before she crumpled face first on the floor and held her as she sobbed. "Bee...I... I thought..."

"So did I..."

She looked up at him. "Oh Bee..."

"I'm so sorry Molly..."

Inwardly panicing, Bee ran scans. Molly was laying limply in his arms, not even trying to support her own weight. His panic was suddenly and abruptly forgotten as her lips met his. Eyes widening he simply stared at her as his spark fluttered and pounded. She pulled back, looking emberessed and stared at the floor. "I...Im sorry...I dont know what came..." He smiled softly, leaning down and capturing her lips in a kiss of his own. She closed her eyes and melted against him, smiling as he broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes. His voice serious, he asked her. "Molly, why do your legs not work?" She stiffened in his arms. "The impact broke my back Bee..." The look of horror on his face broke her heart. "We will fix this..." He whispered, scooping her into his arms and storming out the door. Two men stood up as he came out the door. One, a rough looking blonde man that looked like a pro wrestler, with a jagged scar down the entire right side of his face and the other, an equally muscular, but more sophisticated man with graying black hair, wearing black slacks and a dark blue dress shirt. Both had the same shocking blue eyes that Bee had. The sophisticated man spoke, his voice gentle, yet firm. "Bee... We cannot kidnap a human." Molly stared, suddenly realizing that these men werent men at all. Bumblee had an expression on his face that could only be described as cold determination. The rough looking blonde stepped infront of him, his voice not gentle at all. "Bee..." Bee glared up at him "She cant walk Hide. Because of me. She cant walk. Now move your holographic skidplate the slag out of my way" Ironhide, raised an eyebrow, staring down at Bee. Molly finally decided to intervene when it looked like they might brawl with her in the middle. "Bee... Im ok... You dont have to do this..." Bumblebee looked down at her. She could see the pain in his eyes. The sophisticated man spoke again "Bee, you should listen to her... Causing a war will only create more harm." Bumblebee shuddered, Molly could sense the silent tears building inside him and she wrapped her arms around him, smiling at the two men. "Who are your friends Bee?" The rough looking blonde crossed his massive arms over his chest and continued to look down at them "Name's Ironhide. Thats Ratchet." 

Ratchet, smiled gently "Bumblebee, we will have to get her discharged in order to remove her from the hospital. I have hacked into the hospital mainframe but until I can arrange things, you need to return her to her room. Your actions may worsen her injuries."

Moving like lightning, Bumblebee had her back in her room, laying her gently on the hospital bed she hated. She sighed heavily. Ratchet grabbed her medical chart, looking it over.

Bumblebee "Its going to be ok Molly...Ratchet can fix this." Ratchet raised an eyebrow, looking at Bee over the medical chart.

Ratchet, sighing " I cannot promise that. My specialty is Autobots, not humans. However, if you have no objections, I would be willing to try."

Molly, struggling to stay awake, simply stared in awe "Your a doctor..."

Ratchet nodded. "Cheif Medical Officer is my offical designation. I have studied human medical practice extensively. Our basic anatomical makeup is very simaliar.Based on the information from my scans and your medical records, you are suffering from a compound fracture which shattered three of your lower vertabrae..." He paused as he realized she had fallen asleep and smiled softly. Bumblebee opened a com link so not to wake her.

-private com-

Bee, sounding pissed "I'm about to lose my holodrive..."

Ratchet, sounding irritated "I told you not to over do it. Your systems are still recovering."

Bee "I had to make sure she was ok"

Ratchet "I understand, but she is resting now and so should you."

Ironhide "We got her covered little guy, get in some recharge time."

Bumblebee nodded, his hologram vanishing and Ratchet and Ironhide exchanged glances, Ratchet taking the chair next to the sleeping humans bed and Ironhide positioning himself in full view of the door, dropping into a gaurd position, more out of habit then actual worry. They stayed that way until she woke. 


End file.
